Derek TraquairSep 22, 20202 min readShootings increase across Canada - Trudeau says gun ban "Working as Intended"CALGARY - In response to the recent surge in gun violence in Calgary, City Council announced a new Public Safety Task Force in order to...
Derek TraquairJul 22, 20201 min readNDP to appoint Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as new leader- renames party "ehOC"OTTAWA - Unnamed sources within the New Democratic Party Central Committee have confirmed that both the Federal party and it's provincial...
Derek TraquairJul 9, 20201 min readEdmonton man angry he can't protest resource development and service cuts at same timeEDMONTON - A local man is upset that he is unable to attend two rallies set at the same time. The protester, who identified himself as a...
Derek TraquairJun 16, 20201 min readFinance Minister: Small Business Owners are "Tax-Cheats" - RCMP releases sketch of suspectTORONTO - After two years of investigation following the accusation that Canadian small business owners and entrepreneurs to be "just...
Derek TraquairJun 13, 20202 min readGoing Nuts! Right Wingnuts and Left Wingnuts unite in anger over Peter McKay’s support for PrideTORONTO – In a rare show of solidarity between political opposites, elements from both left-wing extremists and right-wing fringe of...
Derek TraquairJun 4, 20201 min readTrudeau announces Parliament not Essential Service but not to worry: Politicians will still be paidOTTAWA - In one of the most unsurprising announcements from the Prime Ministers Office, Justin Trudeau declared that Parliament is not a...
Derek TraquairMay 31, 20201 min readBloc leader vows to destroy Canada for sovereign Quebec - also advises Canada end Oil SandsMONTREAL - Bloc Quebecois leader Francois Blanchett took a short break from declaring that Canada was a blight upon his home province of...
Derek TraquairMay 30, 20201 min readTrudeau offers to trade Calgary Zoo Pandas for Canadian hostages held in ChinaCALGARY - Prime Minister Justin Trudeau recently directed the Calgary Zoo to send their four pandas back to China in an attempt to...
Derek TraquairMay 27, 20201 min readBernie Sanders drops out of Presidential Primary after witnessing a month of Socialism in AmericaVERMONT - After Democratic Presidential Contender Bernie Sanders announced that he was withdrawing his name from contention, several...
Derek TraquairMay 26, 20201 min readCalgary launches new ad in re-application to become Amazon's "HQ2"CALGARY - City Council is expected to announce the city's revitalized attempt to become Amazon's second headquarters or "HQ2" in the...
Derek TraquairMay 24, 20201 min readTrudeau Gun Ban Includes Imperial E-9 Blaster - Stormtrooper arrested in LethbridgeLETHBRIDGE - Stormtrooper FN-2193 was arrested in Lethbridge, Alberta on May 4th, 2020 after blatantly brandishing the newly illegal E-9...
