Trudeau announces Parliament not Essential Service but not to worry: Politicians will still be paid

OTTAWA - In one of the most unsurprising announcements from the Prime Ministers Office, Justin Trudeau declared that Parliament is not a service essential to the running of the country. The move was supported by the NDP after the Prime Minister assured the party that they could still be paid for not doing their jobs which was a key requirement.

"Canadians do not want their leaders working in Parliament" said the Prime Minister during his daily Morning Show, "they should trust in a basic dictatorship to be run without questions or accountability". The PMO also released a list of achievements only possible due to a lack of transparent government that Trudeau is particularly proud of. Included in this list was raising taxes throughout the country due to an increase in the Carbon Tax. Something no other democracy was able to do, or even attempted as other leaders recognized that most citizens do not have the Trudeau's $14 million dollar trust fund to fall back on. Also included were the Order In Council banning of the Black Rifle Coffee Company, Paintball/Airsoft Guns, and Hunting Rifles.

But as Canadians pay more in taxes and struggle to make ends meet, the government has been quick to assure them that politicians will still receive their paychecks. In addition, due to the Canadian Emergency Response Benefit, additional funding to the political parties from taxpayer funds will continue as well because, as one Liberal Party Staffer put it "the public exists to keep the Central Party funded".